Monday, September 22, 2008
On the right track?
Sunday night, I went to dinner with my parents. At the table behind us, there was a family that consisted of the parents and two boys under the age of 6. I overheard the mother say to the youngest son, who appeared to be around 3 years old, "big boys don't whine." He followed up with "yeah, they don't cry either." The mother then said, "sure they do, everyone cries." I didn't hear a word from the father. I was happy to hear the mother say that because I definately think that it should be acceptable for men/boys to show their emotions. I think the mother is on the right track by teaching her boys that it is ok to cry.
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2 comments:
It is refreshing to hear that boys are being taught it is ok to cry. Now, if parents can teach their sons to talk about emotions, we'd really be on the right track. Sometimes however, peers will make that impossible until boys are old enough to start looking around and listening to the people who matter and are willing to say that such behavior is ok and not "unmanly". My father treated me and my brothers the same way growing up. I didn't get "girl" treatment. If I got hurt I was told to quit crying and go clean it up myself. But any time there was a real reason to cry, my dad was there for me and my brothers to listen and encourage us to talk it out or cry as needed. We lucked out because he came from a family where no one could show emotion uness it related to dominance over others. He and my mom decided early on that they didn't want that for us. My brothers are better for it today...
It is okay to cry, but at the same time a boy should cry about something worth crying about. If my nephew falls off his bike, i act as if nothing happened and tell him to get back up. I wrestle with him, he plays football and runs track. Hes a young athlete and we always emphasize that big boys dont cry. What i have noticed from my own experiences is that when you focus on children falling they tend to look around and see who else noticed before they react. If I am babysitting I will turn my head and not pay attention whether they are my neice or nephew. My brothers spoil them and pick them up and tell them its alrite, but i dont tolerate it. I guess thats the difference in being an uncle and a father.
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