Victim or Predator

In class we talked about the victim being blamed when he/she is raped. Dr.LeClair said that it is a problem that we blame the victim more and not the rapist. This topic has always had me on the fence. Because I have witnessed girls that have been under the influence and made some choices that they were not proud of and called rape the next day or when people started finding out. However I do know some girls that this legitemently happened to. So this is where it gets fuzzy and gray to me. Why do some girls feel like calling rape on a guy that she regrets is a way out? Its not. This is one of the problems that leads to society thinking that the victim is to blame, when that is not always the case. This really makes me angry.

Women getting blamed for looking cute....

Judging women by what they wear

Two years ago, I went down town with one of my friends and I was wearing white shorts and a black and white stripped shirt (slightly low cut), and heels. This was the style back then and still maybe who knows. Anyways I went over to a girlfriends house up in Austin right after I got off work and had my change of clothes with me. Later that night I drove back to San Marcos, when I got home I went over to my boyfriends (ex boyfriend shorty after this incident..) and his mouth dropped open and then he said, "If you were to wear a cops uniform what do you think people would think you are?"
I replied "a cop."
He said, "Yeah and so if you wear a sluts uniform what do you think people will think you are?"

WOW! Okay this just goes a long with what we were talking about in class with men putting the blame on women for men viewing us (women) a certain way. This situation above suggest that if I was rapped or called a slut that night it would BE MY FAULT as a women, just because I was wearing a ''cute and in style outfit" down town.

Ciara Proves She’s All Woman

Since the first photos of Ciara posing in the buff for Vibe Magazine hit the net, fans and non fans alike have been wondering why Ciara, a singer who has been relatively modest about her displaying her sexuality, would make such a bold move and disrobe for all of the world to see. Well, one quick glance at a quote from the magazine pretty much tells the tale. “They said I was a man! It doesn’t get any worse than that”. It appears all those nasty internet rumors about the singer forced her to make a very in your face statement about what she was working with. 

Warren Buffet and lack of Parent bonding

Buffett revered his father, a stockbroker who became a four-term Congressman, he had a complex relationship with his mother. A model housewife to the outside world, his mother would "verbally lash" the young Buffett and his older sister for hours, until the children wept. Buffett says that when his mother died he cried not because he was sad but "because of the waste. She had her good parts, but the bad parts kept me from having a relationship with her."

men against violence

so today in class we talked about mens movements and some of them being men against violence. I think these are great organizations for men to be involved in however it got me thinking of my experience with men i knew in organizations like that. My ex-boyfriends best friend was the president of MAV (men against violence) and he was one of the rudest people i have ever met, unless he really liked you. I never witnessed him be physically violent with women but he was verbally abusive all the time. I would walk into their apartment to see my boyfriend and get a "hey slut" or a "hey bitch" all the time. It offended me at first but then i just got used to the fact that thats just how he is. However it gives a negative vibe to an organization if their president acted that way. Now i don't know if he was really in the organization for the right reasons or if it was just to look good on a resume but either way i think its wrong. If you're going to take a stand on such a strong topic like that it needs to be consistent through out your life.

9/22

Today in class we talked about the mens movement. I think that men are overlooked when it comes to suffereing or needing something. People think that men are supposed to have it all figured out and not need anyones help. Because the fact that men are supposed to not need anyones help it is hearder for them to ask for it. I believe that men are just as negatively portrayed as women. If a man can't take care of his family by himself, then he is a "loser", if a man can but doesnt spend much time with his family then he is a "horrible dad". Sometimes they just can't win.

On the right track?

Sunday night, I went to dinner with my parents. At the table behind us, there was a family that consisted of the parents and two boys under the age of 6. I overheard the mother say to the youngest son, who appeared to be around 3 years old, "big boys don't whine." He followed up with "yeah, they don't cry either." The mother then said, "sure they do, everyone cries." I didn't hear a word from the father. I was happy to hear the mother say that because I definately think that it should be acceptable for men/boys to show their emotions. I think the mother is on the right track by teaching her boys that it is ok to cry.

Guys Wearing Make Up

We briefly discussed the issue of the children playing with make up. My major interest is trying to discover why is it ok for a man to wear make up when he is modeling or acting, or any type of business that requires him to be behind a camera but not in everyday public.I know its not socially acceptable for a man to do this in public or behind close doors, yet nobody complains when they see their favorite actor, model, or tv personality wearing Mac make up on live tv exposed to the world. 50 cent, LL Cool J, Arnold Schwarzenegger, all these big muscled bound guys wearing "women products" because they want to be pretty on tv. Tyson Beckford and Ashton Kutcher modeling with lip gloss, but nobody ever says anything. So should a man not wear make up, or only under certain circumstances?

Drunken Women and Men

Why is it okay for a man to get drunk and his friends think it is cool, but when I girl gets drunk a guy and his friends are like "man you could hit that". Is it socially acceptable for women to be drunk in public? If it is then at what age does it change to it NOT being socially acceptable?

9/17

Today in class we discussed how society makes things popular. This is true, even if it degrades women, as long as it sounds or looks cool then society is, for the most part ok with it. The issue of Hooters and if there were a male version if it would work. I do not think a male version of Hooters would work because for one it is socially accecptable for women to go to Hooters to eat. I do not think that men would be comfortable eating a restaurant where men are walking around with tight shirts on with a speedo, or shirtless. Society says what is ok for men and women, and men attending a male version of Hooters would not be ok. To me there is nothing wrong with Hooters, I have eaten there multiple times. However, I think it would be completely different if it was an all male restaurant.

I my experience when dealing with any "handyman" they have always been curtious but at the same time I feel that they try to either dumb down when they are talking to females or in some instances try to take advantage of the situation by trying to make it seem as though they need unnecessay parts to be replaced.

9/15

Today in class we discussed how children tend to find a romantic partner that is like their parents. I do not think that this is always the case, well not with me anyways. My boyfriend has completely different interests and hobbies as my dad. My dad is a football kind of guy and has a "white collar" job. My boyfriend on the other hand loves to hunt and fish. His job is hard very physical work. However, even with the differences that they have, they have the same heart. They are both loving, caring, and responsible people. I think that is the most important. I do not think that a woman should find an exact replica of her dad, because no one is going to be the dad that she grew up with. But, she can find someone that will love her and wil hold the same personality and character traits.

Women and Car dealerships/ Poll

I agree with some of the other women in class that felt like every time they went to the car mechanic for one problem that they were told a list of things that needed to be fixed. I recently experienced that very problem again when I took my car in after it would not jump-start. Although I was only wanting the battery fixed, I was given a whole list of things that need to fixed. This list with quoted parts and labor was outrageous! I usually get my father on the phone to straighten the mechanics out so I don't get screwed. I have tried to get out of these situations myself but the mechanics don't seem to take me seriously, which creates more anger on my end. It is very frustrating that I can not go see a car mechanic and have a pleasant experience without feeling like I am being had. I think it is sad that the male car mechanics only take other men seriously and disregard women as being capable of knowing when they are being screwed. I usually know when I am being screwed but I just can not get the mechanics to take my no for an answer.

I was raised to be a very independent woman but this is one issue I have yet to master a sense of independence from.

How about the women in the class:

Do you think mechanics take women seriously?
Yes/No/Neutral

If No, do you feel like you have to have a man there with you or get a man to speak for you?
Yes/No/Neutral

If Yes to above, do you think having to rely on a man for this is OK?
Yes/No/Neutral

How about the men in the class:

Do you think mechanics take women seriously?
Yes/No/Neutral

If No, do you suggest to the women in your life that you or another man goes with them or speaks for them?
Yes/No/Neutral

If Yes to above, do you think women relying on you or other men to take of this is OK?
Yes/No/Neutral

Discussion in class on the 10th

The way I was raised, I would almost consider, I got the best of both gender worlds. I grew up with an older brother and sister and with that they both treated me differently yet also the same. My brother for example used to say "I don't have a brother so I am going to treat you like a boy." This might be the reason I did grow up more like a "tom-boy." I loved to play with the stereotypical Barbies and such but I also loved to play with fast cars and was even given a Tonka Truck for my birthday. I loved that thing! It was a dump truck so creating roads and making sand castles was exciting. It might be because of this I always seemed to like to hang out with the guys more. I always enjoyed listening to my dad's and brother's conversations much more and when I became a teenager I had more guy friends. Until college I refused to wear pink or anything that I would consider overly girly.
I think that because I as grown up this way I feel it is a good way to raise a child in such a world that is either one way or the other. I wasn't pansied and turned into a girl that can't take care of herself, I was raised to be strong woman that can look out for myself and also know that I deserve to be treated like a lady by a real man.

Today in class we talked about how people are gender stereotyped even before they are born and it got me thinking about what my parents did for my brothers and i when we were born. My parents decided not to find out the sex of my brothers or i before we were born and i was the third born. Having already been pregnant with two boys my mother was POSITIVE i was a boy (though she didn't know for sure) and painted my room blue, only picked out a boys name and was totally prepared for me to be a boy. well suprise suprise i was a girl, and they were both shocked but excited. However they didn't make any changes into what they had already planned (besides my name of course) my room was kept blue and in most of my baby pictures i was wrapped in a blue blanket my mom had made for me while she was pregnant. Thinking back on my childhood i have to agree with one of the other students who said today that she grew up with brothers and prefered playing with them and their toys. I was the same way, i think because they were my role models from a young age. I still liked playing with dolls and some girlie things but mostly i wanted to be like my brothers and most of my friends were boys up until middle school. I think its been an advantage for me not growing up as a "girlie girl" because even though now as an adult i like to dress up and look pretty i still can be a tom-boy and play sports and hang with the guys, which i think is beneficial.

Money in the relationship..

Okay, so today in class we had this huge discussion about chivalry and who should pay for what in a relationship. First on the chivalry part, it's always polite when a man opens the door for a woman or when he lets her have his seat on the bus. But this is 2008, not the medievil times! Women shouldn't always complain about not getting the door opened for them or a seat. Sometimes they might need to give up their own, like when someone said about the man holding his two kids and no one got up for him, but her. Now that's being polite and everyone should be polite! It's common sense.

Who pays for what in the relationship?? No, it should not always be the man. Maybe in the beginning of the relationship when ya'll are dating and he's trying to start something. But as time goes by, there is that imaginary line when it's just time for the woman to start paying for the man. I enjoy buying my boyfriend things and taking him out to dinner, it's not being a sugarmama! It's just giving his wallet a break all those times he took me out and now it's my turn to treat him!!

:)

9/10

Today in class we discussed men being the ones within a relationship to pay for things. I think that men should pay for things but the woman should pay sometimes. A woman should not expect a man to take on that responsibility all of the time. Men like to be treated sometimes too. I think that it should be equal responsibility. I know within my relationship I pay sometimes. I think that it is healthy for our relationship for him to know that I do not want a sugar daddy. I want someone who can afford to take me out but does not necessarily have to pay all of the time. When you are in a serious relationship I believe that the concept of "who pays" becomes less important.

Gender differences in showing emotion

I grew up in a house where my little brother and I were both taught as children to keep our emotions locked up. Neither my brother nor I were allowed to show any emotion when we felt it.

I can see gender differences in how this has affected my brother and I. My brother and I both went through a period of time where we would have outburst (during our teen years) of emotion because we could only hold them in for so long.

I believe I had an easier time getting back in touch with my emotions so that I could show them when they came up because unlike my brother I was not plagued by the gender stereotype that most of world holds that men have to hold their emotions in and be strong. I believe this stereotype is making it a struggle for my brother to break the chain of what we were taught as children.

I hope that I have been a positive influence on my little brother by encouraging him that showing his emotion does not mean that he is a sissy or less of a man, but that it actually makes him more of a man!

Homosexuality in todays world

When I was in middle school and high School I played tennis, basketball and track. I knew lots of girls that were on sports teams as well, and we were all great friends. Once we graduated high school, and I still hung out with about 9 of the girls. Of those 9 girls 6 of them came out and told everyone that they were homosexuals. After further discussion with them about why they didn't come out earlier if they knew many years ago, they told me that if they would have come out in high school that is would not have been socially right and every one would have changed the way they acted around her and her friends.

The fact that this is actually reality that homosexuals face this every day, bothers me. People should be able to accept who they are, and at the same time be able to express that. But like my friends said social acceptance plays a huge role in the way people act, dress, talk, or base their sexual habits in the world today.

But if you notice, same sex marriage is becoming more acceptable. Massachusetts has recognized same-sex marriage since 2004, and California since May of 2005. And in like 5 other states they have what is called "legal unions", almost like common law marriage. This excited me to know that views and ideas on this topic are changing in drastic numbers. But social acceptance and the restraints it puts on society is still there and I am afraid it will always be there.

Acceptance

In class today we talked about acceptance of different lifestyles. We watched clips on the transgender girl from America's Next Top Model and I was saddened when one of the girls was outcasting her because she was transgender. Her only reasoning for it was because she came from a Southern little town where that is just not acceptable. Who is she to judge someone she doesn't even know just because she is "different" than her. I believe it all comes from how you were raised.
I come from a Christian family but I know that my family would not outcast anyone just because of their lifestyle. I have a best friend whom I've known for almost all my life and she has a three year old son. Her husband is very close-minded to say it in a polite way. One day my best friend and I went shopping and her son came along. Well when we got into the jewlery section he picked up a tiara and started playing with it. My friend and I thought this was too cute so we took a picture of him with it on. When his father saw it he was furious! He said don't ever put that stuff on him again. I asked him why and he said because his son was not a homo. (his words not mine) I was just astonished but that is how his father is. His son has to do guy things and play with guy things. Some of my best friends are gay and I love them even more because everyday they are faced with close-minded people but they overcome it.
We can't help how our parents teach us things growing up but we don't have to do the same thing with our own children. People of different race, color, sex, lifestyles, etc. should be accepted for who they are. Never judge a book by its cover!

Leave the Jonas Bro's Alone

Today (9/8) in class, it was brought up how the Jonas Brothers were picked on at the VMA's for wearing promise rings.  It was also brought up the Brittany and Jessica were in the spot light because of their sex lives as well.  

I dont think its right for them to get picked on.   It was portrayed as a sissy, and negative thing for the Jonas Brothers to declare their abstinence, probably because they are boys.  

In Jessica and Brittanys more innocent days, abstinence was seen as a positive thing for their images.  They were praised, and put themselves into the good girl categories.

Its not right that if males in the spot light make a decision like this, then they are patronized ruthlessly.  It goes along with the idea that its normal, ok, and encouraged for males to be very sexually active, and if their not they are sissy's.     

9/8

I think that how a child is raised has a huge impact on the childs personality and what they think is accecptable/normal as an adult. If a child is allowed to hit people and to throw things or if a child sees his parents doing those things, I think that he will grow up to have more violent tendencies. I am not saying that a child who is introduced to violence at a young age will be violent, I am saying that I think there will be a greater chance of the child thinking that it is ok or normal. I also believe that the gender characteristics that are pushed on childern at a young age will help determine the childs personal actions and beliefs as a teenager/adult. I think that boys should be allowed to cry and play with dolls, if that is what they want to do. The parents should not push anything on their child. Children should be treated differently from their siblings because they are different people, not because one is a boy and the other is a girl.

Men being stay at home dads

Men should have the choice whether they want to work or stay at home just as women do. I always grew up in a household where both my parents worked and that is the way I view my relationship, but my brother on the other hand is a stay at home day, sort of. He goes to school but doesn't work. His wife works and brings in all the money. But he is okay with this and so is the rest of our family we find nothing wrong with him staying home and taking care of the kids. But this a very touch subject when men are hanging around with other men and the pressure would ultimately get to them I think.

9/3/08

Today in class we discussed whether a guy would stay at home if the woman made enough money for him to do so. Every guy in the class said no unless they had some way of conrtibuting from home. I find that a little funny because what guy would not want to sit at home and mow the lawn, watch tv, hang out with his friends, and just wait for the woman to return home from work? My boyfriend has told me multiple times that if i mnade enough he would want to stay home and that he would not mind being a stay at home dad. I do not think that this would ever happen, but he admits that he would not mind and would actually like to do it. I do not understand why more men do not feel comfortable admitting that they would not mind.

A woman's place??

This was taken from the Houston Chronicle:

A woman's place

With the announcement that her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant, how can Sarah Palin possibly think she can continue her run for the Republican vice presidency? The GOP players have been quick to praise her family values, but I question the values of any woman who would leave a special needs infant and her pregnant teenage daughter to gallivant around the nation in a frantic, round-the-clock campaign for vice president.

-BETSY DOLAN
Sugar Land

I find this interesting...

I believe that if Sarah Palin was a man running for VP in the same situation, there would not be as much scrutiny on the issue.

I think that Sarah Palin should be praised for showing America that just because she is running for VP, doesn't mean she has a perfect family! Things happen...at least the Palin family is backing their daughter.