Monday, September 29, 2008
Victim or Predator
In class we talked about the victim being blamed when he/she is raped. Dr.LeClair said that it is a problem that we blame the victim more and not the rapist. This topic has always had me on the fence. Because I have witnessed girls that have been under the influence and made some choices that they were not proud of and called rape the next day or when people started finding out. However I do know some girls that this legitemently happened to. So this is where it gets fuzzy and gray to me. Why do some girls feel like calling rape on a guy that she regrets is a way out? Its not. This is one of the problems that leads to society thinking that the victim is to blame, when that is not always the case. This really makes me angry.
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6 comments:
I agree with smokin'joan about being on the fence on this topic... We briefly discussed in class how what women wear effects whether or not they get sexually assaulted and they should know better and i don't agree that its the ultimate reason for the assult. However, i know that a lot of time when girls go out they wear the low cut shirts and short shorts to show off their body and get male attention. When a woman chooses to wear and outfit that is revealing they have to accept that they're going to get male attention and they really can't know whether its going to be positive attention or negative attention. I don't think that it is ever a woman's fault for getting raped or sexually assulted but i do agree that sometimes you can take measures to try prevent it from happening.
I kind of agree with what hphgrw80 is saying but at the same time the way it was said in a way implies that women should not wear certain things if she soesn't want to get rape. It is sad that our society thinks this way; it is ok for guys to do a lot of things but it is not ok for a girl. If a girl dresses a certain way she is putting herslf at risk for being raped but a guy can dress however he wants. Or a guy can have sex with as many girls but a girl can't. Why can't men just not raped girls and control their hormones like the other guys who do? Now about girls blaming people for rape because they regret it, is irresposible and they obviously don't know how they are damaging the life of that person. In instances like this it can be gray. Then you also start wondering can you really believe women when they claim to be raped.
I honestly don't have much compassion on girls who put themselves into those situations. They are flat out dumb. Go to a party with a plan. If you want to drink, fine... make sure someone is there to watch after you. What many girls wear these days to parties are provocative outfits designed to turn a guy on and get a guy to like you... well girls you got it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that rape is okay by any means, I am just saying that the girls who wear slutty clothes and get drunk are really "asking for it".
And one last comment. Is it not what most girls are really looking for when they wear slutty clothes is attention aka REAL LOVE. Girls, I have to ask you, do you really want a guy to "LOVE" you because of what you are wearing or willing to put out or show?
I think its ridiculous when a girl will get drunk, make some bad choices, then turn it around on someone and pull the rape card. I have a guy friend that that happened to and, although she didn't press any charges or anything, it crushed him to hear those words. Rape is a very strong word and I think its crap when girls use it as an out for a bad choice. I know that if I allow myself to get that intoxicated, I am fully responsible for my actions.
I also feel that if a girl wants to dress up skanky, she has the right to. Women are perfectly capable of saying no and putting a stop to things. The real rape cases I know don't result out of slutty clothes. But I also tend to agree with 123 that if you are going to put yourself in that situation, don't hurt someone else in the long run.
Ok, i agree that it is a fuzzy issue. However, some of it is law, and the law says that a woman under the influence can not give consent. If a girl has sex with a guy and regrets it in the morning, it is her right to say that she was raped because she was under the influence. I do not think that a womans clothes or lack of clothing is a good reason to blame the victim. I could walk around in just a shirt that said "Yes, i will have sex with you" and if a guy pressures me or forces me to have sex, IT IS STILL RAPE!!!
Its all about saving face, If you feel it will ruin your reputation its best to blame someone else. Same thing with guys denying certain girls they have had sexual encounters with. People say honesty is the best policy, yet you get judged no matter what. I believe if you both have sex and it doesnt get reported, it was wanted. Apparently it wasnt important enough for her to complain.
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