Thursday, October 2, 2008
Women: Flirt or Fight?
Yesterday in class we went back to the subject of whether women should be more aggressive since they sometimes get taken advantage of when it comes to making deals with men. Whether it be buying a car, getting a bank loan, or anything we always talk about how they are taken advantage of because people think they don't know any better. Society says they should be more aggressive when negotiating and "do it like a man." But then we also talk about how instead of negotiating like males, females will wine and cry and bitch until they get what they want. And then there is also the viewpoint that women can flirt their way out of things. I will say honestly I have used my sex appeal to get what I want before. Am I wrong in doing so if society tells me it is ok? Which one of these tactics is the right one? Or are there any?
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4 comments:
When it comes down to it, you can do what gets the job done as long as you are within moral bounds. Yes, this means that women generally will have to be more forcible in their manner and speech, but it does not exclude other means. Women get a bad rap for using flirtation as a means of influence, but they are by no means the only ones who do so. Men are just as capable and successful at flirting to get what they want. Your best choice is usually know what you are getting into, be knowledgeable and prepared to make your points and understand what you may be hearing before getting into a situation so that flirting or pouting is unneccessary. However, as long as you are clear that "hey, I may flirt but that's all it is" don't be shy about using your appeal. In my line of work I deal daily with males who try to flirt and flatter their way into all kinds of things. Being female, I understand what they are doing and they rarely get by me. That said, it doesn't stop them from trying! If they can do it, it's fair game for us too.
I think this issue comes down to how society views the individuals actions. Look at what happened in class...when someone pointed out that their mother would "bitch" to get her way. Just the fact that this person used the word "bitch" about a woman being aggressive and assertive is a problem.
This seems to come down to gender stereotypes about men being the aggressive ones and women being the emotional timid ones. So, when a woman becomes assertive with others it is labeled as "bitching".
Therefore, the solution of the dilemma can not come about until the gender stereotype is broken down.
I think you should do what you have to do to get what you want, as long as at the end of the day you can live with yourself and be ok about it. In situations such as the cops, im sure men wish they could flirt their way out of it alot more. Chances are the cop is a poiceman and that would be problematic... Being agressive can be a good thing when it comes to getting a better salary, but at the same time, its alot easier to go to the next candidate that will accept less. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.
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