Wednesday, October 29, 2008
10/29
Today in class we discussed scripts for dating. When we were in groups, I noticed that the majority of the gender specific "rules" that my group came up with could apply two both sexes. I believe that in order to have a relationship progress both people must have the desire to put in the effort to do so.I believe that every couple comes up with their own set of rules. There is not one couple that expects the same things from their partner. One rule that is within my relationship is to have expressed appreciation. What I mean by this is, for example, while my boyfriend is at work on fridays I normally start/sometimes finish his laundry for him. When he gets home he tells me thank you and that he really appreciates it.I have told him before that I do not mind doing things for him as long as they are appreciated, and that as soon as I feel that they are not appreciated I will stop doing them. The same thing applies when he buys dinner. I always tell him thank you. I think what is wrong with some of the scripts or rules that are expected today is that because people do expect them they do not appreciate them, or they do not verbally express their appreciation. SAY THANK YOU PEOPLE!!!
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3 comments:
You took the words right out of my mouth. Ihave been trying to figure out why i dont like dating anymore and now it makes since. When the bill comes, girls turn their head, expect you to pay for everything, open doors,and we as guys dont mind, just want to hear thank you.
Well said. I also believe this applies among cross-sex friendships. I've been single for well over a year, but most of my friends are male. I tend to use many of the same "rules" with them as with the guys I've dated. Yes, I offer to pay for things, and usually make sure I have my wallet out and ready to pay. That said, they usually wave it away and tell me not to worry about it. They all have "My stuff is your stuff" poilicies and tell me to make myself at home. I make sure that my door (fridge, liquor cabinet, and bathroom) are open to them as well. I make a point to always be appreciative and go out of my way to do little things for them. Granted, I'm no saint, but common courtesy and thanks go a long way in maintaining some of the best friendships I've ever been blessed to have.
When I visited to my boyfriend’s house, I cooked dinner for him. He appreciated me and he said to me “thank you for cooking dinner.” I liked to cook and I had no problem about it. However, a few months later, he did not say anything. He thinks that it was usual thing that I cooked. I just stopped cooking because I was tired of cooking for him without his appreciation. He tied to figure out what’s going on and he noticed he forgot to appreciate me. From that time, every time I did something for him, he said to me “thank you.” Appreciation is really important to keep good relationship.
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