10/29

Today in class we discussed scripts for dating. When we were in groups, I noticed that the majority of the gender specific "rules" that my group came up with could apply two both sexes. I believe that in order to have a relationship progress both people must have the desire to put in the effort to do so.I believe that every couple comes up with their own set of rules. There is not one couple that expects the same things from their partner. One rule that is within my relationship is to have expressed appreciation. What I mean by this is, for example, while my boyfriend is at work on fridays I normally start/sometimes finish his laundry for him. When he gets home he tells me thank you and that he really appreciates it.I have told him before that I do not mind doing things for him as long as they are appreciated, and that as soon as I feel that they are not appreciated I will stop doing them. The same thing applies when he buys dinner. I always tell him thank you. I think what is wrong with some of the scripts or rules that are expected today is that because people do expect them they do not appreciate them, or they do not verbally express their appreciation. SAY THANK YOU PEOPLE!!!

Do men gossip??

SO, the class discussion today was talking about whether guys gossip like girls do. I believe that guys do gossip, but not to the extremes like girls do. I know for a fact they do! One day, a good friend of mine, who is a boy, came up to me and told me that some of his friends were talking about me and their game. My name had come out of no where. Well this other guy was gossiping about me and telling of false information. So my good guy friend asked me not to say anything cause he didn't want drama or he didn't want the other guy knowing that he had told me. Well, i confronted him the next night actually. And come to find out, he tried denying it! That's what some girls do whenever they get caught gossiping about others!

To answer the question, do men gossip. The answer is YES! Even when you're not even around or your name comes out of no where, they do gossip. They just don't want to say they do because it's not in the manly nature to gossip like girls. Although girls do take way more out of control then guys, but they still do!

:)

10/27

Today in class we talked about how women are more likely to talk about eachother behind their backs than men. I think we are giving men too much credit. They can be just as pitty as women can. I have many guy friends and they talk just as much about eachother as my friends and I do. Men talk about eachother, but in a different way. Men, in my experience, talk about how the other guy is not "lucky" when it comes to the ladies, or how the other guy is lazy at work. When women talk about other women it is mostly about physical and sexual characteristics. Basically what I am saying is that men may think that they do not talk about other men behind their backs but they do. The main difference between men and women in this aspect is the content that is being discussed.

Drill Team

This maybe off subject from what most people are blogging about, but when I was in high school, I was on a drill team (dance team) of 81 female students. It was the worst year of high school for me. Most girls stayed in drill team all 3 years (sophmore-sr.). Me, I only stayed the first year and quit. Girls are so hard on one another. Constantly girls were criticizing other girls about their weight, dance skills, make up, hair styles, clothes, etc. I got so tired of being crtiqued for everything about myself, that I had to quit. I had the worst self-esteem that year. We had one girl that was quite over weight and had to keep her dance out-fit together by pins. So many girls would make fun of her, I felt bad for her, because she was one of the best dancers. The thing that bothered me most, is that our dance coach would not order her a new outfit in her size. There used to be a "weight limit for the dancers" a long time ago when the team was first put together. But it has been over 50 years since it started, and the school refuses to buy bigger outfits. Only allowing the skinny girls a chance to feel comfortable and join the dance team. I think the school and facutly views the dance team as the school's "sex objects." I did not want to be apart of something so vain, so I quit, and made the best decision for myself. I just don't know why girls are so hard on each other, guys aren't like that to one another as harsh.

Free Religion

This is a late post but about 2 weeks ago Dr. L-U made it a point to tell all of us that the author of our book sometimes leaves religion on the back burner. I thought it was really awesome how she made it a point to say that we shouldn't forget about that and our personal beliefs, whatever they may be, should play a role in how we learn about and analyze communication and gender. Two thumbs up!

Sororities!!

        Years ago, when I was a freshman I rushed and joined one of the, to remain anonymous, sororities.  All of the senior girls who rushed me and wanted me to join sooooo bad were sooo pretty, and sooo blond, and hot...etc.. 

          I love heels, and getting all dolled up like you do for rush, but I also have a tom-boy side.  I wear a sideways hat and board shorts when I go ride my longboard.  

        After rush I remember seeing the older hot girls who wanted me to join when I wasn't dolled up, and I got treated a lot differently! Funny actually, I saw one of these girls once when I had to run in a store and get some beer to go float.  I didnt have any shoes on and I looked like a TOTAL scrubb (we were on our way to the river!!).  She had the most awkward and surprised look on her face when I said hi to her and her friends.... and I thought she liked me sooooo much???

         I will agree with the ideas that fraternities and sororities have underlying pressures that enforce gender stereotypes. I felt like some of the girls in the sorority held everyone to these stereotypes of us having to be girly and pretty all the time.  

Hug Day

When I was in high school, our principal brought in a group of people that conducted a "challenge day." It was much like a diversity training. It was good that they brought these people into the school because everyone should be aware of differences, however the day turned into a cry fest. Much like on The Office, they pointed out peoples differences. We had to get into groups and talk about ways we were oppressed. Our vice principal was in my group and he talked about the issues of segregation his family encountered when he was a child. He broke down, along with several others. It then turned into everyone having to hug each other. After all of that, we called it "hug day."

Talking about diversity is important and people need to recognize that we are all different and have different feeling. Things like this, however, are not necessary. I shouldn't have to feel bad about myself or be brought to tears because I may or may not have had a more challenging life than others. Pointing out differences in an emotional way like these people did does not help awareness positively, it just makes you feel like crap.