First I want to thank Pam...

and Dr. Le Claire for being so "naked" today! and then I wanted to say it here because I wasn't ready to in class.

Then I wanted to talk about the thing Pamela said today about when she was first raped that forever more you feel like predators seek you out like you have a big scarlet "S" on you that stands for "SLUT" that everyone can see. When I was young I had very bad things happen to me by some horrible people and I didn't know why these things kept happening to me.

It was years later when I heard it that there is indeed something about you that predators can sense on you and that made sense to me. Unfortunately they didn't tell me how I could undo it so that I can have normal relationships. When she talked about the addictions and the promiscuity and the self mutilations I was checking off a list in my head! To this DAY I have not and cannot keep a relationship going. I'll either sabotage it or something. Like I don't deserve good things.

Also like Pam I don't have a good relationship with my parents and early on I figured I just like to be by myself whenever family is concerned.

This is ironic that we had this happen today because I just got finished writing in my journal about how I'm going to start dealing with my life in little increments and start dealing with myself on a day to day basis because everything I'm dealing with gets too overwhelming! I also figured out that the reason I can't handle one of my addictions is because I guess deep down I think I should punish myself like I'm bad or something.

Execution for child rape?

A lawmaker recently returned from a tour of duty in Iraq is anticipating more combat over his effort to impose the death penalty on those who brutally rape children 12 and younger.

It would join first-degree murder, kidnapping resulting in death and treason as the only crimes punishable by death in Colorado.

The U.S. Supreme Court in 1977 ruled the death penalty is cruel and unusual punishment for convicted rapists but left the window open for states to impose the ultimate punishment on those who brutally rape children.

It was said in class yesterday that women are restricted by the fear we have to do things like walk to your car alone at night.  

I personally dont get scared doing things like that, but I see why many women do.  Because people have these ideas that women should be scared, it really does place huge restrictions on us, and I dont like it one bit when I think about it that way!

My ex- bf use to get mad at me if I ever left a bar to walk to my car by myself or anything like that.  It really would piss me off, because yea I guess something can happen, but im not going to live my life taking every precaution.  That issue of him being protective really put some unwanted restrictions on me.  Its not fair because he doesn't know how it feels to be labeled as the damsel in distress who can walk to her car!!

Reasons for Assault

A good friend of mine, we'll call her Monica, was raped a couple years ago. She was stopped at a gas station late at night after a concert. He snuck into her car, then came at her with a knife and made her drive away. After he finished everything, she asked him why he did it. I can't remember everything he said but I know a big part of it was that his mother had recently died and that he was not ok from that. Monica lost her mother a few years before this incident as well. She said "well my mom died too." He then responded with "Well I wouldn't have done this to you if I knew that."

She immediately went to the police. After she reported it and gave a description, five more girls came forward, saying they were attacked by someone with a similar description and at the same place or close by.

I don't think Monica or any of those girls were at fault by any means. People should be able to stop at a gas station without some jackass getting in the car and nearly killing them. Losing a family member is no excuse to hurt a complete stranger. Karma is a bitch, and it came to him. I seem to recall he was found in Mexico and was severely beat by the mexican police. Serves him right...

11/12

Today in class a topic came up that I am sure every girl can relate to. The topic is being yelled or commented at by construction workers. I do not know how many times this has happened. I think that if more women would say something when this happens that maybe the guys would get a hint that women do not like this. When I was in highschool I stopped by the gas station before school to get a drink and this guy sitting in the abck of a truck started making comments. I turned around and told him that I was only 16 yrs old and how would he like it if his daughter was getting hit on by a dirty old man. Needless to say he did not say anything to me as I left the store. Another thing about this topic is that sometimes people in power demonstrate this type behavior and the person does not know how to react. Again, when I was in highschool I was at the gas station, this time getting gas, and a cop drove up along side of me car said " Hey, I like your license plate holder". Ok, I had a convertible and the license plate holder said "On hot days I go topless", but I was 16 and I thought it was fun! But this is not the most disturbing part, after the cop drove off he went to talk to a state trooper and the next thing I know the state trooper is staring at me. I just felt very uncomfortable. Most people would say that I was asking for it because my license plate holder was drawing attention to me, but I put it on there because I though it was fun and it was my first car and I wanted to make it pretty. I do not think that in any way was i asking to get hit on.

North Country

I have seen his movie before and understood what the movie was about and what she was fighting for. But watching it in class really opened my eyes to the small details, like in the bosses office at the mine he had a calendar with a half naked girl and her legs were wide open. I mean those kind of things I didn't see the first time I watch it. I found my self tearing up at the same parts that I teared up when I watched it the first time. This movie is very emotional and gets the idea and point across very well.
I also thought it was funny that she asked why no one picked on Gloria. The men may not have done the disgusting things to Gloria that they did to the other women but she faced her own struggles inside the Union meetings. When they brushed off all her ideas and opinions and made jokes about it. Gloria didn't have the same power as the men and was out numbered.

GREAT MOVIE and I enjoyed watching it very much. This is an extreme version of what is still going on in the work force today. For and example: I worked as a cocktail waitress for 2 weeks, basically worked the training. It was at the Sports Bar Legends in Austin and my ass got grabbed a few times and the men actually dropped the glasses on purpose so I would have to bend over and clean them up. I got called honey, sugar lips, miss thang, darling, and many other things that were degrading to me. Sexual harassment and thinking of women on a lower level is still prevalent in today's society yet it is not as blatantly obvious as it was in this movie. (Men get sexually harassed as well)

Male Generic Language

I have a teacher that noticed he kept saying "you guys" when he talked to us. He said he recognized that you guys doesn't refer to females, so he decided to start saying "you students." He corrected himself several times that particular day, saying "you g, you students." Now he's back to the "you guys." It doesn't offend me at all when people say that. I thought it was funny that he said students instead...it just doesn't sound right. I applaud his recognition but, either way, it made me laugh.